Thunder Buddies
by TaraJo
Summary: Sort of a crackfic... Both Harry Potter and his teddy bear need a life, but old habits die hard. Draco Malfoy is keen to have a part in Harry's life, but Ron the bear isn't so easily replaced. Story adapted from the movie Ted. Warnings for a teddy bear's potty mouth and abuse of chocolate for sexy purposes. Bottom!Draco/Top! Harry. AU!HP setting.


Originally written for 2013 Bottom!Draco Adaptation Fest in LJ. This story is adapted from the movie Ted, Harry as John, Draco as Lori and Ron as Ted the bear :)

**THUNDER BUDDIES**

"Mr Potter." Headmistress McGonagall's voice was reprehending, when she stepped towards Harry in the hallway after the Charms lesson. She kept a firm grip of Ron's ear and dragged the bear along with her. "I suggest you keep your bear on a shorter leash, or I will have to give _him_ detention. And... you know what that means."

Harry groaned and rubbed his face with his hand.

"What did he do this time, Headmistress?"

"Inappropriate behaviour towards the 7th grade girls, again," she said sternly, "and I'd appreciate if you kept him away from Peeves. Together they get into too much mischief. Mr Filch is very upset."

"I'm very sorry, Headmistress, I'll talk to Ron." Harry sighed, grabbed his bear by the arm, and dragged him away, the bear complaining loudly at his manhandling.

Harry had got the stuffed bear when he was six years old. The bear was a toy Harry's cousin Dudley had abandoned and somehow it ended up in Harry's cupboard. Harry had been ecstatic at having a friend, someone to talk to, someone to listen to his thoughts and worries, someone to share his fears with, someone to keep him company when he had to spend long hours alone in his small cupboard under the stairs. Harry named the bear Ron. He was about two feet tall with brownish red fur. He wasn't the most beautiful teddy bear Harry had seen, but it was _his_ bear, and that was all that counted.

One Christmas night Harry had laid awake in his small cot and felt so utterly alone, that he had wished with all his heart for Ron to be alive, a real friend for him. He had finally fallen asleep hugging his bear tightly, and come morning Harry had awoken to a cheerful "Good Morning, buddy!". After the first shock, Harry enjoyed the company of a living teddy bear, but he had kept Ron hidden in his cupboard. That way, neither of the Dursleys would know about him nor try to take his only friend away from him.

Ron had followed Harry to Hogwarts, where no one had wondered about his living teddy bear. They all got used to the magic in every possible variation, so Ron was easily accepted as Harry's companion. Although lately, Ron had become a bit volatile, chasing after girls, tossing pranks with Peeves and irritating the faculty of Hogwarts with his crazy escapades, as he enjoyed wandering off whenever Harry turned his back. Harry thought that Ron was probably bored, but when the incidents with the girls became more frequent, he wondered if the teddy bears were having puberty with raging hormones as well.

Harry dragged Ron to the Gryffindor common room before starting to lecture him.

"Why do you keep making trouble all the time? It's our last year here and you are doing your best to make it the worst year ever! Why can't you leave the girls alone and stop pranking with Peeves? You know how much McGonagall hates it when Filch is furious. The next time McGonagall catches you red-handed, you'll get one month detention locked up in Filch's broom closet!" Harry fumed to the bear, who was trying his best to look innocent.

"Come on, Harry, what do you suppose I do when you keep ignoring me and spend all your free time with that Malfoy git? I want to gag every time I see him looking at you with his gooey eyes! We never hang out together anymore and I miss my best friend! We haven't had any guys' night together with booze and sports and hookers in a very long time – too long time! It isn't fair, Harry!"

Ron tried to make Harry feel guilty and succeeded at it perfectly.

Harry felt his anger ebb away but didn't give up just yet. "We never had any hookers and that's beside the point anyways. You really need to stop acting like this and I mean it! Next time I will escort you to your detention myself if you keep doing this!"

Harry stormed away and left Ron alone in the common room.

* * *

Harry met Draco at their usual place, in a hidden corridor behind an ancient tapestry on the third floor. Harry fell into the waiting arms of Draco, burying his face in the crook of Draco's neck.

"I'm so furious at Ron right now, why can't he just behave? He's been pulling these tricks for too long now, and I don't know how to make it stop," Harry cried out, frustrated as hell. "Now he's accusing me of abandoning him because of you and I can't stand the guilt!"

"I heard about his latest stunt today. He's just jealous of your time. I'd have never believed that I'd say this, but your teddy bear needs a life," Draco chuckled. "Come on, he'll get over it. I need you more right now than he does."

Harry smiled at Draco and pulled him into a sweet kiss.

Later when Harry returned to the Gryffindor tower, he was met with the sight of Ron cuddling on the sofa in front of the fireplace with four girls, all of them taking turns at petting him, and Ron was enjoying himself, being squeezed between soft breasts around him. Harry just glared at them, stomped upstairs to the 8th years boys' dorm, and went to bed. He was so tired and fell asleep almost instantly.

It was long past midnight when he heard a distinct voice calling him.

"Harry! Hey buddy, wake up!" Harry heard an urgent whisper near his ear. "Harry!"

"What is it, Ron?" Harry slurred.

"It's thundering outside and I don't like it! I need my Thunder Buddy!" Ron was upset.

"Come to bed. We're perfectly safe in here." Harry scooted over to make room for Ron.

"I'm scared. We need to sing the Thunder Buddy song, Harry," Ron whispered.

"No! We don't need to sing anything, just go to sleep and the thunder will be over come morning," Harry objected.

"We have to sing! We always sing when it's thundering outside and it has always helped. We just have to, Harry, please!" Ron insisted, nearly panicking.

"Okay, okay, calm down! We'll sing it, but tomorrow morning you start to behave yourself and keep yourself out of trouble from now on. Okay?" Harry gave in, trying to make a deal with Ron and sound stern.

"Okay," came Ron's muffled reply from under the covers, and Harry cast a Silencing Charm around their bed.

Harry didn't like thunderstorms either and after finding out a few years ago that Ron was really scared of thunder, they made a song to keep their fears at bay. The song was silly, and Harry would have rather died than let anyone else hear the song, though Draco had claimed that Harry had been singing it in his sleep once. Harry never believed him, but it was better to be safe than sorry.

When you hear the sound of Thunder, don't you get too scared. Just grab your Thunder Buddy and say these magic words: _"Fuck you Thunder, you can suck my dick, you can't get me Thunder, 'cause you're just God's fart."_ Harry and Ron sang quietly together and it took three more times to sing it before Ron calmed down enough and they could finally sleep.

* * *

The next day Harry was surprised to find out at dinner time that Ron hadn't made any pranks all day. He had chased after girls, though, as usual, but he hadn't done it too publicly – or at least hadn't been caught. He was having his usual fun at dinner by running under the table and peeking under the skirts of every girl he could reach and tickling bare knees. He got more slaps than not, but it didn't slow him down. Harry just rolled his eyes and decided to let it slide as long as no one made a scene of it.

After the dinner Harry and Draco were heading towards the Quidditch pitch to fly their brooms when Ron ran after them.

"Harry! Wait! I got a bottle of Firewhiskey. Let's have some buddy time in common room. Dean and Seamus are coming too!"

"Not now, Ron. Later. Draco and I are going for a flight." Harry glanced at Draco and then at Ron, who had started to pout. Draco, on the other hand, was looking smug. Harry was a bit irritated but decided to go along with the original plan.

"Ron, later, okay? We have been planning this flying for the whole week and finally it's great weather to do it. We have plenty of time for a buddy time after that."

Harry kept walking towards the pitch with Draco in tow.

Ron didn't give up though, and jogged after them.

"I want to fly too!"

"You have never wanted to fly before. You don't even know how to fly. Why so sudden change of mind?" Harry was exasperated.

"I think you should start teaching me right now, because you'll never know when I'm in the mood for flying. If you hadn't teached me by then, I could fall off my broom and break my neck. What'd you do then, huh?" Ron tried.

"Knock it off, Ron! Okay, I'll teach you but not today. We'll have our buddy time but later today. Now beat it and leave us alone!" Harry was beginning to pull his hair, but Draco's hand soothed him when he rubbed gently Harry's back.

Ron huffed and turned around to go back to the castle, but not before he shouted over his shoulder: "Fuck you, Harry!"

Harry sighed and leaned against Draco, earning a brief kiss.

Soon they were up in the air, enjoying the fresh air whooshing in their ears, when they sped up their brooms. They played a one-on-one Seeker game, both of them trying to best the other, but even though they were both competitive and tried to beat the other quite seriously, it was still fun.

The were laughing when they landed smoothly on the ground and grabbed their brooms to take them to the broom shed. They stayed in the broom shed for a while longer to enjoy the privacy and silence around them, and of course, some serious kissing and groping they both had been denied for too long. They had just started to get rid of most of their restricting clothes, and the passion had built to the level that neither of them noticed anything happening around them when the door to the shed was torn open and a bright light was switched on. Harry and Draco jumped apart, blinking against the bright light. Ron was standing on the threshold.

"Harry, can we go now? I'm getting cold!" he whined.

"I told you to go back to the castle, idiot! Leave me alone, will you? Leave. Me. Fucking. Alone!" Harry bellowed.

"Well, then that must mean Malfoy too, if you want to fuck alone, doesn't it Harry?" Ron smirked but had to turn and take off as fast as he could because Harry was coming towards him with a murderous expression on his face.

"Come on, Harry, we can finish this somewhere else, in a more comfortable place. What do you think?" Draco asked with a seductive tone in his voice. Harry nodded and followed him out of the shed.

They were barely inside the castle when they heard commotion coming from the second floor. McGonagall's voice rang sharply above all the noise, and soon the situation seemed to calm down. Harry and Draco stood in the entrance hall, waiting for the situation to end before they'd find a better place for them to continue from where they had left it in the broom shed. Unfortunately, Headmistress McGonagall strode straight towards them as soon as she saw them.

"Gentlemen, I have ordered every student to stay in their own common rooms for the rest of the evening. Peeves has been causing trouble again. It applies to the two of you too. Off you go, now." McGonagall didn't want to hear any explanations, and ushered Draco towards the dungeons and Harry upstairs. Harry and Draco just gave each other a long glance of longing but finally obeyed.

* * *

The next morning before breakfast Harry and Draco met outside the Great Hall, and Draco went to lead Harry to a more private corner when Ron came bouncing to them.

"It's a Hogsmeade day, Harry! We can leave right after the breakfast! Man, I can't wait to get out of this crappy school! Come on, Harry, let's get the breakfast and go!"

Harry rolled his eyes but didn't follow Ron right away. He turned to Draco, who was looking very disappointed. They had made plans earlier for Hogsmeade, and now they all seemed to fail.

"Draco, meet me at Madam Puddifoot's at two o'clock. I have a plan to get rid of Ron by then and we can spend the rest of the day together after that. Okay?" Harry asked hastily.

Draco's eyes lit up at hearing that and he happily agreed.

Sitting at the breakfast table, Harry contemplated his plan for distracting Ron in Hogsmeade. When Ron made his usual trip under the table, Harry leaned close to Seamus Finnigan, who was sitting next to Harry.

"Hey, Seamus, would you do me a favour?" Harry asked quietly.

"Sure, mate, what is it?"

"Could you take Ron to the Three Broomsticks, say... around two o'clock and keep him entertained at least a few hours there? I need to get him off my back for a while today."

"No problem, though it's going to cost you. Having a hot date with Malfoy?" Seamus grinned.

"What? How'd you know about us? We've been keeping it sort of a secret." Harry swallowed nervously.

"Come on, Harry, everyone knows about you two. Don't panic, it's all right and I'm going to get your Ronnybear so wasted that he doesn't even remember you until tomorrow. Hell, I'll ask Dean and maybe even Neville to join us, that should be fun!"

"Okay, do it your way as long as it works. Keep an eye on Ron, though, I don't want him getting into too much trouble, okay? And the drinks are on me." Harry grinned back and then dared a glance towards the Slytherin table. He caught Draco staring at him and winked and smiled back. Everything was going as planned.

* * *

At Hogsmeade, Harry and Ron visited Honeydukes first because it was Ron's absolute favourite. Ron had his fur pockets full of candy and even Harry had purchased something for later enjoyment for Draco and himself.

They wandered around a bookshop and a joke shop, where Harry had to keep a firm eye for Ron. He didn't want any nasty surprises in the near future. After grabbing a quick lunch at the Three Broomsticks, Seamus and Dean joined them at the table.

"Have you two seen Neville? We were going to give him a great hangover for tomorrow." Seamus grinned mischievously. Ron was more than ready to join in that precious cause.

"We saw him before we came in here. He was going into a Herbology shop then."

"Let's go get him!" The two boys and a bear jumped up from the table and headed for the door. Harry subtly stuffed a handful of Galleons to Seamus and muttered, "You go ahead and have fun, guys. I'm going back to Hogwarts."

Seamus just grinned back at him, and Ron didn't even seem to notice Harry's leaving, having too much fun ahead of him with the guys.

It was almost two and Harry decided to go to Madam Puddifoot's to wait for Draco. When he arrived at the Tea Shop, he saw Draco already waiting for him. They didn't linger there any longer than it took for Draco to finish his cup of tea, and soon they were on their way back to the castle and the Room of Requirement, where Harry had planned to take their private encounter.

The Room of Requirement provided them a spacious room with a big sofa in front of the fireplace, and in the far corner of the room was a massive four-poster bed with fluffy pillows and warm duvets. The fire crackling in the fireplace illuminated the whole room with a warm glow, and the faint scent of mulled wine steaming in the cups on a tray set on the coffee table in front of the sofa was delicious.

Harry had barely time to register any of it before he pulled Draco into his arms and kissed him fervently. They had waited for so long to get a private moment that Harry felt the compulsive need to get his hands and lips on Draco as soon as possible. It had been weeks since the last time they had been able to meet intimately – actually it had been their first time together – and they both had been anxious to get back together.

"Merlin, I've been dying to get you all to myself for so long, Draco," Harry whispered fiercely against Draco's neck while leading him towards the bed.

"I know, Harry, I have missed you so badly too. Can't wait any longer," Draco whispered breathlessly and began tugging their clothes off. Their robes, shirts and shoes flew to the floor and impatient hands and lips tried to reach as much of the hot skin as possible. They tumbled on the bed in a heap of tangled limbs and frotting against each other, until Harry clung to the little control he still had and backed away. He ignored Draco's protests of losing contact and gripped the waistband of Draco's trousers.

"These have to go, right now!"

He swiftly opened the button and lowered the zipper, yanking them off along with his boxers and socks. He admired the sight in front of him, Draco sprawled across the bed, pale skin flushed, chest rising rapidly with his ragged breath, silver eyes hooded with lust and his beautiful long dick hard as a rock, rising proudly from the nest of trimmed blond curls. Harry had to swallow; Draco was so beautiful. Draco was also his, and if Harry had any say, Draco would remain his for a very long time.

Harry shook himself out of his stupor and removed his own clothes before laying back on top of Draco. They resumed back to their heated kissing, touching and frotting, until Draco laid his hand on Harry's chest and tried to halt their movement.

"Stop! Harry, stop it! I'm too close and I don't want to come until you're inside of me. Harry, please!" Draco panted and began to squirm under Harry. Reluctantly, Harry rolled over to the side and groaned. He reached for the nightstand, where the Room had provided a jar of lube. He dipped his fingers inside the jar and then turned back to Draco, ending up between his already spread legs. Harry dipped his head, rubbed his nose in Draco's groin, and gave a long delicious lick from the base to the tip of Draco's dick. At the same time, he rubbed his slick fingers around Draco's opening and finally slid one finger inside. He took Draco's cock into his mouth, sucking and tonguing it, and continued preparing Draco with one finger at first, adding the second finger soon after. Draco was getting restless though and tried to get Harry move faster.

"I need you, Harry, right fucking now, you hear me? Come on, fuck me already, I can't wait any longer!" he demanded and Harry chuckled under his breath.

"Demanding, are we?"

"Hmph." Draco's retort was muffled by Harry's mouth when he kissed Draco deeply and passionately, while lining his cock up with Draco's entrance. Slowly, he started to bury himself into the snug heat of Draco, both of them moaning into the kiss while he breached the tight ring of muscle and sank deeper inside him. Harry paused for a moment when he was fully sheathed inside, until Draco started to urge him to move.

They set a slow deep pace at first, but soon Draco demanded "more... oh, there... harder, Harry, harder!" And eventually, Harry was slamming into Draco, who met him thrust by thrust. Suddenly, Draco cried out and came hard between their stomachs, his impatient cock erupting without either of them as much as touching it. Draco's arse clenched around Harry's cock and that made Harry's pace turn erratic and then he climaxed too, so hard that his balls felt like exploding. They laid there panting and catching their breath while trying to calm down from their high. Harry tried to avoid crushing Draco under his weight and rolled aside, still keeping Draco in his arms. He cast a wandless cleaning charm and pulled the covers on them to keep them warm.

They dozed off for a while, until Draco began to squirm against Harry waking him up.

"What's wrong, Draco?" Harry asked, kissing his shoulder.

"I'm parched. Is there anything to drink here?"

"I think I saw mulled wine on the coffee table. Want some?"

Draco got off the bed without answering and took the covers with him, wrapping them around himself and leaving naked Harry shivering on the bed.

"Oi! It's cold in here! Come back!" Harry complained loudly, but Draco just laughed.

Harry jumped off the bed and ran after Draco, who was already sitting on the sofa and sipping his hot wine. Harry manoeuvred himself inside the covers and wrapped his cold hands around Draco's waist. Draco jumped and almost dropped his cup, glaring at Harry.

"Take your icy hands off me, you brute!"

"They're warming up nicely, so stop whining, sweetie pie." Harry smiled innocently at Draco, who glared even harder now and huffed petulantly but soon relaxed back against Harry.

They enjoyed the warmth coming from the fireplace and soon they were warm enough to discard the covers altogether. They lounged on the sofa naked, when Harry remembered the chocolate he bought from Honeydukes earlier that day. He went to get it from the pocket of his robes, and Draco eyed suspiciously the chocolate bar in Harry's hand.

"What's that for? That isn't the Finest of Honeydukes I'm used to having." Draco eyed the chocolate bar as if Harry had scraped it off from the bottom of his shoe.

"No, it's not for your dessert but mine." Harry smiled and urged Draco to lie down on the sofa. Harry opened the wrapper of the chocolate bar and removed a charm keeping it cool. It was a new invention of Honeydukes that melted when getting in contact with warm skin. Harry started to trace patterns onto the warm skin of Draco's body with the chocolate bar. As soon as it touched his skin, it melted as if it was a chocolate sauce, shining deliciously against the pale skin. Harry's mouth began to water when he traced Draco's collarbones and nipples with the chocolate, and then down his stomach and around his navel, and further down, painting with chocolate his sharp hip bones and soft cock, who started to get very interested in getting a chocolate topping on it.

Harry glanced at Draco when he put the chocolate bar to the table. Draco's breathing was hitched and shallow, and his eyes were half closed. He definitely seemed to enjoy himself, not to mention the lack of complaining.

Harry dipped his head and licked the chocolate covering Draco's collarbone. He licked and kissed his way along the chocolate marked path to the perky nipples, turning them into hard pebbles when he sucked them. He traced the chocolate path down to the navel and dipped his tongue into it sucking hard. Draco jerked almost off the sofa and Harry had to steady him with his hands. He licked the chocolate from the hip bones and then reached his final reward, Draco's cock, and sucked the whole lollipop into his mouth. Draco arched off the sofa and let out a long moan, encouraging Harry to make the dessert, the blowjob, as delicious for Draco as it was for Harry. Draco came with a loud cry and collapsed down on the sofa, utterly spent.

"Harry, I think you have found an even better brand of chocolate than the Finest I was so used to. Please, let them have send the whole box of it for me, okay?" Draco sighed contentedly. Harry chuckled and pulled Draco even closer. They cuddled for the next couple of hours, basking in the warmth of their lovemaking and the cozy log-fire.

* * *

"What do you mean, he isn't here?" Harry raised his voice when he returned to the Gryffindor common room and found no trace of Ron. "You got him drunk and let him get lost, huh?"

Harry was angry and worried. Seamus just blinked and tried to find his voice after Harry had woke him up from his drunken sleep on the common room sofa.

"Nonononono, I'nowereh-h-he-eish, Harr-rry," Seamus slurred.

"Care to explain then?" Harry snapped at him.

"Herr-rmiione, heswith Heerrm.."

"For Merlin's sake, try to say something comprehensible, Seamus!" Harry raised his hands in total frustration.

"Hey Harry, what's up?" Neville had come downstairs and was standing behind Harry.

"Seamus seems to have lost Ron during their drunk party!" Harry groaned.

"No, Ron's not lost. He's with Hermione."

"Hermione? Are you sure? Ron has never even noticed that bookworm before." Harry was astounded now.

"Yeah, well, I was there, when some idiots started to call Hermione "Mudblood" and Hermione got upset. Well, Ron got upset as well and attacked the guys and we had to wrestle him off. Ron didn't want to leave Hermione alone and spent the rest of the evening trying to cheer her up. When we got back to Hogwarts, Hermione wanted to go to the Astronomy tower and Ron went with her. I suppose they are still there," Neville explained.

"Oh, okay. I'll talk to Ron when he gets back then. Wait, aren't you supposed to be drunk as well?"

Neville chuckled. "Nah, I knew what they were up to and managed to distract them enough to save myself from the impending hangover. I guess they weren't that lucky."

"Serves them right," Harry laughed and then yawned widely, "I'm knackered. Better go to bed. I guess Ron is fine just where he is, if he's with Hermione."

"He is," Neville assured.

"Okay then, good night." Harry bid and went to bed.

He woke up in the middle of the night, when Ron climbed to the bed. Harry tried to fall back asleep, when Ron started tossing and turning and sighing deeply.

"What is it, Ron?" Harry groaned groggily.

"Harry, I think I'm in love. I know I'm in love! Hermione is so awesome!" Ron sighed dreamily.

"You're in love with Hermione? She's a nerd, not a sexy chick you're usually into," Harry grumbled.

"Fuck you! Don't you dare insult Hermione. She's hot even if she dresses properly, and she's smart and funny and just brilliant!"

"Ron, you're a teddy bear and she's a girl. How could you two make a couple?" Harry tried to sound reasonable between his wide yawns.

"Fuck you! Fuckyoufuckyoufuckyou! You're supposed to be my best friend and be happy for me!" Ron snarled and left the bed. Harry tried to call him back, but Ron had already left the room. Harry decided to let him cool off and drifted back off asleep.

* * *

Harry saw Ron next time at breakfast when Ron stayed the whole time sitting and chatting with Hermione. Ron didn't even greet him, and despite Harry's numerous attempts, Ron kept ignoring him completely. Harry was surprised that Ron didn't even make any of his usual pranks under the table, and after breakfast Ron followed Hermione to all the classes for the rest of the day, something he had never done with Harry.

When Harry complained about Ron's behaviour to Draco, the blond was secretly pleased. Maybe now they could have some more privacy when Ron was busy with Hermione. It was a huge relief that Ron wasn't trying to be the third wheel all the time anymore.

Ron kept giving Harry a total silent treatment until the third day when Harry cornered Ron in the Gryffindor common room. Ron tried to shrug him off at first, but Harry was persistent.

"Come on, Ron, I'm sorry. I didn't realize you were so serious with Hermione, and she seems to be seriously interested in you, too. It's perfectly okay with me, if this is what you want and it makes you happy, buddy," Harry apologized sincerely.

Ron's expression softened and he hugged Harry tightly.

"You don't have to be jealous, Harry, it's alright. I'll still be your best buddy, even if I'm with Hermione now." He comforted Harry and Harry had to hide his amusement at Ron's seriousness. "We can still have our buddy time together, guys' nights with booze and sports and... well, maybe not hookers, but still. I'm not with Hermione every night, you see."

Later that night, Harry met Draco at their usual place, in the corridor behind the tapestry on the third floor. Draco tried to comfort Harry in his own way, kissing and hugging and caressing the brunet to get him feel better after losing Ron. Even though Harry had accepted the situation and was happy for Ron, not a moment worried that he had lost his best friend for good. He still accepted Draco's consolation – he wanted to enjoy all of this side of gentle and caring Draco. Draco was still being a snarky and arrogant little prick he had always been, most of the time, at least when there were other people around them. Now, though, Draco was all sweet and giving Harry so much of his tender loving care that Harry didn't want to risk to lose it with confessing his true thoughts to Draco.

"I can be your Thunder Buddy from now on, Harry, but don't even try to make me sing that awful song with you. I'll have plenty of other distractions for you during the thunderstorms, I promise," Draco promised with a mischievous glint in his silver eyes and kissed him passionately.

Harry was definitely hoping to see more thunderstorms than the whole Britain had faced in centuries.

The End


End file.
